3rd November. Last Radiotherapy

I went miserably and alone to my last radiotherapy session today. I was not feeling very brave or communicative. The radiographer asked if I was doing anything nice to celebrate my last treatment. No. In retrospect I should perhaps have planned a treat for myself.
The oncologist checked my chest, advised me to continue to use the aqueous cream, advised that the skin soreness might yet reach its peak in a week or so, and suggested it is usual practice to have a check up in a month's time and then another one a year after original diagnosis, and them it's just annual mammograms on my remaining breast thereafter.
He could see I was distressed and invited me to tell him what was wrong. So I did. Now he's referred me to the clinical psychologist! Well, what else could he do? I'd have done the same in his shoes!
Silver lining: I had planned to meet up with Martha just to swap notes about our forthcoming Alpha Away Day arrangements after my hospital appointments. This turned into a lovely lunch out together in town, sharing stories of life's battles and God's blessings! He often does that- puts the right people in my life just when needed, to help me and let me know He's here, in it all, with me.

2nd November coming to the end of treatment

I am not feeling as happy as others would have me feel, reaching the end of treatment in two days' time.
I fully expect the oncologist to say to me, when we have that meeting on Wednesday morning, "Well, that's it now. Well done. We've dealt with your cancer using everything known to modern medicine. It's gone. So you can get back to normal. Just take the Tamoxifen daily for 5 years. And - that's it. We're done here. You can go on your merry way. Come back next year if you decide you really want reconstructive surgery. Apart from that - bye! .. Next!"
I found an article by Paul Harvey, a consultant clinical psychologist, quite helpful. It explains to me why I'm not feeling so great.
http://www.cancercounselling.org.uk/northsouth/extra4.nsf/WebResClient/1761049276601BD68025735B00604834/$FILE/article3.pdf?openElement
Apparently it's quite normal to feel miserable and insecure. Great. Having just about finished with the medics, I'm lined up nicely for needing the shrinks!