I have had a long three weeks. There was the beginning, with the Monday Look Good Feel Better appointment - which was cheering, but overall, it took about 10 days for the chemo's side effects to wear off. I got quite fed up of feeling miserable, tired, confused and achey. So it's taking longer with each subsequent treatment to recover. I have learned just to lie low, and let things go that I can't manage. It's difficult when I am in that 'zone' to keep perspective.. to remember that it's not so hard to catch up on all the things I'd like to be doing/ need doing once I feel better. I mostly get over-anxious about our whole lives/household all going to the dogs just because I'm not barking instructions and being my usual tyrant self!
This last week and a half I have been feeling fine on the whole and have done many things -dressmaking - Ann's prom dress, John's football tournament, driving to Wellingborough to fetch eBay purchase - totally lovely G-plan retro coffee table as old as me!
I am generally easily tired out, but that didn't stop us having a great time when my cousin Klaus visited for 3 days. We did the London tourist thing, and partied each night with a succession of relatives. It was lovely to see Aziz on Tuesday. She came to visit with her nearly one year old son.
My right arm is still sore with the cording and is tight every morning and needs stretching out. My left arm is even worse than it was with soreness and inflamed veins from the chemo drugs. I bumped into a chemo nurse I know in Asda, and she suggested I got a picc line put in ( a plumbed-in tap on the upper arm which has an in-vein tube deep inside me to deliver drugs to sturdier vessels). So I went to the hospital to enquire about having one fitted before tomorrow's chemotherapy. Unfortunately, the nurse who does that thing wouldn't/couldn't get around to seeing me even briefly just to discuss the possibility, despite the receptionist repeatedly saying she would, and so I sat there for 2 hours and eventually went home after asking the receptionist to ask that nurse to phone me. I was very upset and tearful about that. Overreacting is what I'm good at these days!
Eventually I found an answerphone message from the hospital. They'll fit me a line at 10 on Friday morning, before my treatment.
I saw the lymphoedema physiotherapist on Tuesday - she taped me up again, and showed me how to do it myself, and where to get more tape from. We have agreed that the sleeves are useful when i'm doing very active work, but they do cause a bit of hand-swelling so I'm not keen to use them. Gentle stroking and massage has helped and so has the tape on my chest. So I'll persevere on my own, and have a follow up consultation in December, unless my needs change before then. I am continuing with twice weekly axillary cording physiotherapy in Wokingham.
Today I finally got my 'proper' prosthesis from the agent for these things at the hospital prosthesis clinic. She assured me I can change it any time in the next 2 years if I change weight significantly, or if I puncture it and all the goo leaks out! It is actually quite good and reassuring to have a weighty thing in my bra again. It's a good match and I feel more symmetrical, also, it doesn't try to ride up and peep out of the top of my clothes like the lightweight softie.
I also went for an appointment with the Occupational Health agency my employer uses. This was to discuss my return to work and to begin to plan a 'phased return', meaning I can start back with reduced hours and workload for a couple of months. It's the best way to give my employer and myself some idea of what will be achievable and when. Nothing is decided yet, but I am in the system and my circumstances will be reviewed again in late July. After chemotherapy there will be radiotherapy and I am given to understand that there is a waiting list of about 8 to 10 weeks for this, but it might be feasible to return to work between chemo and radiotherapy.
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