I don't have a large mirror in my bathroom, but the inlaws do. So, when visiting them on New Year's day, getting washed at their bathroom basin I noticed a hollow dimpling in my right breast. Hmm, hope that'll go away..
Twice or thrice daily checking assured me it wasn't going away.
New Year's resolution - don't continue to put myself at the end of the list of things to do. Make doctor's appointment. It can't do any harm, they won't think I'm wasting their time, surely?
Google breast dimpling.. hmm not all rosy.. feel better (less silly) about seeing doctor.
Monday 4th January, at work, staff training day. I will make that appointment. And one for the opticians.. I need to pick up the new trial contacts.
Wednesday 6th January. We had loads of snow and there's no going to work today. The local surgery cancelled all appointments except emergencies because of the severe weather. Oh well, I'll get around to re-scheduling the appointment.
Odd conversation with my friend Barbara in pub on Thursday.. what do you think you'll end up dying of? She reckoned colon cancer, I thought cancer too. I was very matter of fact as I told her about my dimple. Resolved to get it checked.
I got an appointment on Friday, the doctor referred me with urgency to the RBH. Everyone is referred with urgency - it's our new policy.
RBH phoned me on Monday - appointment for Wednesday. Booked supply cover. Went. Didn't tell anyone at home.
It's probably nothing. Do I want the celebrity? Stop being so melodramatic. There's a bit of you that would revel in the attention. Keep quiet, or you'll only end up with egg on your face. How embarrassing, to tell them I'm concerned, and then to have to back track because it's all okay after all, and the fact of the matter is - your breasts sag and change shape with age.
RBH Wednesday 13th January.
1st nurse 45 minutes late.. examined.. yes I can see what you mean. I can't feel anything wrong. Breasts can change shape as we get older. She told me a term I can't remember. I suggested one to her I'd picked up online; fatty necrosis? Perhaps.
Now, you did exactly the right thing, coming and getting it checked. You should always get changes checked out. Don't think you're wasting anyone's time. It's good to get checked. Now we'll send you to x-ray for a mammogram. I'll put plus/minus ultrasound, okay?
Cigarette. Phew. Thank goodness I didn't tell anyone; how foolish I'd look. A bit embarrassing to have wasted her time, but she's probably very used to it. And she gets paid the same whether she has good news or bad to deliver. So - off to mammogram.. let's just finish the procedures, and slope off home.
The mammogram lady was efficient and unfriendly. Maybe she'd got the notes sent down, and she'd rather get on with nursing the sick? Wait on the chairs outside, while we look at the results.
I was taken on to ultrasound where the doctor found and measured some areas of abnormal tissue. She took two core biposies and a FNA fine needle aspiration from my armpit.
I should get dressed and go back to nurse 1 to get an appointment for next week.
These abnormal looking areas? They could be innocent or nasty? I know you haven't got the results, but what do you think is likely?
I think they're nasty.
Oh.
Nurse 1 was very nice. She'd got back all the initial findings and asked what I'd been told if anything. I said the doctor thought it was going to be bad news. Yes, she said, this will be cancer. There are 2 areas, 21mm and 17mm big. Shall I wait for results next week before I tell anyone? husband, employer?
You will need to tell them. You can do it now. You're going to need their support. You don't have to wait for the results; it is not going to be 'all clear'.
She went straight on to forewarn me I may need chemotherapy to reduce them before surgery, or perhaps a bone scan too.
We do recommend you bring someone with you next week, to be a second pair of ears. Do bring a notepad. Some people like to bring a voice recorder. This is going to be a very long week. I'm sorry.
Cigarette. Well, that's that then. Back home by bus. It was a good job the weather was too icy to drive in, because I wasn't really up to concentrating. I know - I'll nip to Asda on the way home and get something in for dinner.. we've run rather low on provisions these last few days, with the snow and all, not being able to take the car to the shops.
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