February 5th - Day surgery; Sentinel Lymph Node Biopsy

At 5.15 am Bill brought me a cup of tea, like he usually does before setting off for work at 5.30. It's great someone's being normal.
As soon as he left I got up, showered, cleaned the bathroom, washed the floor, changed the sheets (including the valance.. now that really is a measure of how abnormally I'm behaving!), dusted and hoovered the bedroom, did my hair and make up, packed a bag, left the children and got a lift from Jennifer to the hospital for 7.30. Couldn't sleep anyway.

Name, date of birth, first line of your address, name, date of birth, hello I'm a surgeon, first line of your address, are you allergic to anything?, name, hello I'm the anaesthetist, have you got any crowns? metal work? piercings? date of birth, address, doctor?, have you eaten anything? name, date of birth? On and on, this is what we're going to do, sign here, wear these surgery socks, hello I am another doctor, name?, date of birth?, have you had a drink since 6.30? No. Good.

I think they do it on purpose. For the first 40 minutes it's non-stop repetition, meeting the team and confirming my identity. This is so that when they then leave you to wait for your turn (11 o'clock) with nothing at all to do - not even a ward TV and a spot of Jeremy Kyle - you don't notice for the first half hour because you're just glad not to be asked your name again. The waiting really dragged on. It wasn't a very cheerful place. The other women nearby were also waiting for breast cancer surgery. Not a lot to laugh about.
Everyone else went and came back. And started to eat toast! Just as I was trying to catch some shut-eye my number came up.
Friendly people escorted me to theatre and they did that clever thing where you don't realise that they aren't just laughing and joking with you till you wake up and wonder at what point they knocked you out with no warning. Cunning, these Indians.
It hurt straight away and I was so cold. The painkillers worked very soon, so that was fine. And - get this - they gave me a bair hug blanket thing..a disposable sheet thing with 'duvet' type channels in it, which they attach to a warm hairdryer type of thing and it inflates to make a warm cosy blanket. Fab! Did they re-use them? No. Good. I've nicked it. Already tried it out at home. I love gadgets.

I went back to my bed on the ward and everyone else had got dressed and gone. I watched the boys coming out of school. Ben waved at me, and came in to see me, and, rather than taking the bus home, came home with me in Judy's car.

I feel really warm and fuzzy and irresponsible. I am glad the bedroom is all clean. Ann bought me flowers on instruction from Mum. They are lovely. With cabbages!